In one week’s time is my cousin’s first death anniversary. In Asian culture, we remember the death of a family member by holding a small ceremony to pray for his soul. It’s a very Chinese thing to do, actually, and I grew up in this culture.
This is why even though I now live in Melbourne, on the death anniversary of people who are dear to me, I would chant an extra 30 minute on that day to honor the memory of that person.
I’m not really sad or anything like that, I understood the Law of life and death – that everything that has a beginning has an end. All entities goes through the cycle of birth, ageing, decay, and death.
Not only human beings, but also your table, your PC, your work, a music, a fruit, a fashion trend, fame, a happy moment, a sad moment, the earth, the sun, a star, even to problems – and so on and so forth. This cycle happens to everything, and so it is with our life.
What happens when we die?
(As far as I know) In Buddhism there are 2 big school of thought on what happen to our soul when we die. One school of thought reckons that the soul is eternal, when it enters the stage of Death, it will re-enter Nature. In time, it will be reborn into this world, thus continuing the motion of the cycle of reincarnation.
The other school of thought, which is less commonly found reckons that the soul is NOT eternal. When we die, we die. Our entity will permeates the universe and our soul dissapears. A very unique way of looking into Death.
Someone whom I really respect believes in this point of view – and he clearly indicates that the Buddhism of Nichiren Daishonin (which is the branch of Buddhism that I choose to be my way of life) states that this is so.
I never really get it before, but perhaps now I do.
Fade to black vs. Live forever
You see, I can remember my cousin quite well in my mind. I can picture him walking around, smiling, brooding, laughing and making jokes – I can even picture several scenarios, ‘what would he do if…’ kinda thing.
It is indeed very hard to prove or disprove as to what would happen to his soul after he died – we don’t even have any means to prove whether such a thing as a ‘soul’ exists or not. But nevermind that, because what happens to his soul doesn’t really matter to this discussion.
The point is, his entity as a being remains with the people that knew him. Some knew him as a brother, some knew him as a cousin, some knew him as a good friend, some knew him as a son, some only knew him as a story, or a gossip – and so on.
Whatever it is that happens to his body and soul - any deeds, values and impacts that he has left behind, those things stays with us. Those things have changed us. Maybe the impact is very, very, very subtle. But nevertheless it is present.
We’re all connected?
It doesn’t really stops there, I guess. You see, he was really into gaming. In fact, he is one of the best DoTA player in Indonesia, definitely one of the key members of his gaming clan. His style of gameplay would have been copied, adopted and studied time and again, and have contributed to the style/gameplay of his friends (and enemies too, I bet). No doubt that his existence would have direct and indirect influence to people in his gaming circle.
My younger brother is very close to him. They share mutual respect and share a deep bond, despite the fact that they grew up in different country – his life, his struggle and his suffering affects my younger brother very much. And what goes though my younger brother’s life affects me, my closest relatives, and his close friends.
His story influences many people too. How he died at such a young age, what he could have become, what he has already achieved and so on. I was influenced by his story, and here I am writing this. Who knows what sort of chain of thoughts this piece of writing would set off in the minds of people who are reading this.
So in that sense, both school of thoughts are actually correct. He did pass away, and his soul would perhaps dissapear into nothingness (who knows), but a part of his entity would live on. In our memories, subtly influencing our way of life. Every time I remember him, a part of his entity that I remember would be born, age, decay, and die. Everytime anyone in DoTA enacted a particular trick / technique that he invented, everytime my brother joke around in the style of my cousin, that part of his entity is living a life on its own, being born and reborn over and over again.
I guess this is the case with all things. Simply by living alone, we are already making changes not only to ourselves, but also to everything around us. Our connection to others are inseparable, as do our connection with the environments, thus is the law of cause and effects.
We impact each other, directly or indirectly and thus we have a direct / indirect impact on everything else in this world, and everything else in this world has an impact on us. No matter how subtle, it is present.
Existence
So, what would I have left behind when I die? What values have I contributed to my friends, family, to my work place, to my wider social circle, to the world? What cause have I made, what effect have I set off throughout my existence so far?
I know that there are so much more things that I could do. I guess we just have to take it one step at a time.
